Lessons from the Labrador

In 2006, Sam and I decided that we wanted to get another dog. We already had two (a Rat Terrier and a Golden Retriever), and we didn’t need a third, but we had adopted our Golden from the local humane society about a year prior and loved him so much that we really wanted to get one that was younger so that he could help train the younger dog. Our Golden was likely somewhere between 5-8 years old when we adopted him (we never really knew because he was found on the streets) and we hoped he would live a long, happy life with us.

I’ve always loved Goldens. They just have a sweet, want-to-please temperament and it works well with my not-horribly-authoritative personality. I like that they have interest in going when we want to go, but are just as content to take a nap (at least when they get a little older). There are a few breeds that hold a special place in my heart (though, truth be told, I just love dogs), but the Golden Retriever ranks high for me.

We had been searching local rescues and humane societies for another Golden without any luck. A coworker had mentioned one day that she had just seen some Golden Retriever puppies at a place in north Denver and that we should go and check them out. My preference is always to adopt and I don’t ever want to buy from pet shops because I know that their animals come from puppy mills, but my coworker had assured me that she had done research on this place and that they were good and specifically got their animals from reputable breeders (I’ll be clear here and state that a couple of years later, I found out that what I feared to be the case was in fact true — and I learned to ALWAYS do my own research). I was hesitant because I’ve never heard of any pet shop using reputable breeders (despite what they may say), but I was willing to go and take a look at the puppies. I am a sucker for puppies (who isn’t?), so I probably should’ve never set foot in the shop at all.

When we arrived, they had no Golden Retrievers, but they did have Labrador Retrievers. I remember thinking, “How different could a Lab be from a Golden?” Turns out, very different (though we wouldn’t learn that until much later). A beautiful, nearly white ball of fur came home with us not long after that first visit. Surprisingly, we didn’t take our new addition home the first time we stopped in, but rather went home to think about it to make sure we weren’t making a mistake. Not making an impulse decision didn’t, unfortunately, save us from ourselves.

Chablis, as she would be named because of her light-colored coat, was a challenge from the start. She cried the entire way home and soon took to destroying whatever came into sight. Drywall, clothing, pillows and anything left out wasn’t off limits in her mind. This beautiful little critter was intent to chew anything in her path for the first couple of years of her life. We couldn’t have dog toys in the house for her (or the other dogs) because she would take them all and destroy them. I thought it was punishment from the universe for not adopting, but in reality, I know that she just has a lot of energy.

She was a very smart puppy! I was impressed at how quickly she learned commands. Sit, speak, give-five, sit pretty (sitting on her hind legs with her front paws in the air), and she only had one accident inside the house her entire life, learning to use the dog door almost instantly. With most things, I only had to tell her once and she knew not to do it again (like eating something off the counter in the kitchen). One time when she squeezed past me out the front door and ran across the street to the neighbors who were in their garage, I called her to come back. No sooner had I called her when a car came racing down the street. I screamed, “STOP!” to her and she instantly dropped to the ground, likely saving her life as the driver had absolutely no awareness of the life he’d nearly taken.

It took us quite awhile to figure out just how much energy she actually had in those early years. We would take her to the dog park to fetch and she would spend two hours continuously fetching. I’m pretty sure if left to her own devices she would have run herself right into the ground. She also loved swimming and we enjoyed taking her various places to fetch in the water. Her energy was truly boundless. I recall asking the vet how long it would be until she calmed down and the answer became later each time I asked. When she was a puppy, they told us to wait until she was three, at three, when she was still a crazed dog, they told us five would be the magic number. When five came along, it was eight and so on it would go.

There are several stories that could be shared from Chablis’ youth, but through it all, we loved this dog. After coming home one day to our brand new couch with holes all over and stuffing spread around the living room, I was convinced Sam was going to strangle her to death; and although he wasn’t thrilled, he took it in stride. When we came home from work another day and she’d bitten through a red spray paint can, spreading bright red all over the lower half of our house, I thought I might kill her. A couple of days later, she did the same with a yellow can of spray paint, after which I could only laugh. We obviously hadn’t learned our lesson after the first incident and I really couldn’t be mad at her. Plus, I didn’t want her to get sick from potentially swallowing paint, so I was more concerned with cleaning her up and making sure she was okay. When we left her at my mom and step-dad’s one summer for a few days, she managed to somehow maneuver her way under their house and got stuck. No matter how much they called, all she could do was cry until my step-dad found a way under the narrow space to dig her out.

It’s said that every dog comes into our lives to teach us lessons. I was often uncertain what lesson(s) I was supposed to be learning from this creature who seemed to disrupt our lives so much. Despite her often bad behavior, I loved her, and that was really all that mattered.

A couple of years ago, Chablis started losing her hair and becoming quite lethargic. I thought she was reaching that point in life when she was finally calming down. It was a little sad to watch though, as we were so used to seeing her run around and be into everything. Thankfully, I had enough sense to take her to the vet who informed me that she had a thyroid issue and that was the cause of both issues she was experiencing. Once she was balanced out with the right level of medication, she began to regrow hair and got her energy back. Still, it made me realize that she was getting older and that she wouldn’t live forever.

Around the same time that we discovered Chablis’ thyroid problem, we also found out she was losing her sight. She’d been having some non-usual behavioral issues for awhile that no one seemed to be able to diagnose or explain until we realized that she’d been slowly getting cataracts that were taking her vision. Several months ago, we were informed that she is now completely blind.

One might think that being blind would slow her down, but it really doesn’t. She still excitedly waits to go for walks each day, attempting to lead the way. She navigates the house pretty well, too, at full speed, despite our warnings that she should slow down a bit so she doesn’t run into anything and hurt herself. She still fetches, though it’s a little different now. She listens when the ball is thrown and then runs in the direction while she sniffs around until she finds it. It’s truly the most adorable thing I’ve ever witnessed. She loves fetching so much that she wants to do it until she can’t, and even losing her sight isn’t taking that thrill from her.

At the age of 13.5, we know that she’s closing in on the end of her days. She’s experiencing problems that can’t be solved with medication, including some signs of dementia/abnormally manic behavior in the middle of the night, uncontrollable shaking at times, and her body is starting to show signs of giving out. She has good days and bad, but we are reminded that we all have an expiration date as we watch her face the challenges of growing older.

I also find myself reviewing moments in our life with Chablis and some of the lessons I have learned having her with us. She’s shown me what it’s like to be fearless and has reminded me to try to face things head-on. She’s taught me to enjoy the little things in life because they really are what matters. Being excited about something isn’t a bad thing and it’s okay to go after what you want. She’s shown me that love can exist even in the midst of anger or frustration and illustrated that no matter what the obstacle presented, we really can do anything we set our minds to do. When life gives lemons, we should make lemonade and drink it up without hesitation. I’ve learned never to give up the things I love — modifications may have to be made in some instances, but those things we love so very much are important to keep as a part of life for as long as possible.

Maybe it seems a little morbid to write this post knowing that we are approaching (or perhaps are already in) the window for the end of her life; however, I have needed a space to work through some emotions. It’s easy to get sad when I think about losing Chablis, but I know that when her time comes, she’s left us with memories and lessons that won’t soon be forgotten. I think about that little fuzz ball that greeted us with unwanted destruction or the endless energy and panting, and I can’t help but smile. I hope the happy memories and the little moments alone with her will be the things I remember when she’s gone. She’s been a challenging dog in many ways — many of which weren’t mentioned here — but those challenges are the thing that make her unique and special. I am so very grateful to have her in my life and it more than dampens my spirits to know that her life has been seemingly so short to this point. I hope, too, that we’ve given her a good life and that on some level she knows how much she is loved.

Perhaps she has more in her than I think and we’ll have her for a bit longer. It wouldn’t surprise me at all as she’s been one of the most stubborn dogs I’ve ever been a guardian of/for. She’s lived life on her terms, the way she’s wanted and I can only guess that she’ll go out the same way. For now, I hold her whenever I get the chance and watch as she enjoys the little things. I guess that’s really what I’d want at the end of my life – to be comfortable, enjoying time around the people I love, and taking amusement from whatever bits of the day I am still able to enjoy.