A Big Bicycle

On occasion, we in our household find ourselves curious about a bike shop located outside a reasonably bike-able distance. Several years ago, we'd visited such a shop in a city to the north of us that stocks brands of bicycles not found in most area shops. When we popped by recently to see what was happening and what sort of new finds they would have, we were disappointed to learn that the store had completely shut down.

Looking for some sort of bike-hunting-satisfaction, we dropped by another spot that we knew would be open and were greeted by what can only be described as a very big bicycle.

I have to apologize for the low quality photos as I was not prepared to run into such a sighting on this trip and had only the camera phone to document.

Oddly enough, it was not the first thing to catch my eye (sometimes the obvious is the last thing I see). I made a comment while pointing at an old Schwinn delivery bike standing off to the side that it would be fantastically fun to own. Sam said it would be hard to get the seat into a good pedaling position, but I found myself squinting and made wriggling faces trying to figure out why. Then, suddenly the most obvious item in the shop "appeared" before my eyes. "Ah," I sighed, "You were referring to the giant metal bicycle!" Sam then looked confused, but we got it all worked out eventually.

As Sam wandered off, I was mesmerized by the giant bicycle. I couldn't help but circle around it and look at all the details of this steed. Several shop employees came by to see if I needed assistance, but I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of this beast. The detail in the design was absolutely alluring.

Viewing the metal bicycle with a backdrop of high-viz clothing and helmets seemed an inappropriate location for it; yet it was almost because of its surroundings that it fascinated me so. Seeing this creation of found bits that stood in their final refinement stage against goods generally mass produced was, if nothing else, an interesting juxtaposition.

The bike is quite large, with its tallest point reaching a height that stood beyond the top of my head. As its maker points out, it is appropriately sized for someone who stands at about 9ft/2.75m.

As I continued to admire the bicycle and read through the artist's statement, it was easy to see how much time and care had gone into this creation. I have had the opportunity to see a variety of metal art and even specifically bicycles, but never one that has illustrated such care in detail and for the final product. If I had the means to own this (and a place to display it), it would be difficult not to purchase it!

If you happen to have the capacity, the artist is taking best offers for this piece (and if you do end up owning it, can I please come by and visit it on occasion?). It is currently on display at Lee's Cyclery in Fort Collins, Colorado, if you happen to be nearby and are curious about this bicycle.

Beauty and the Beast

My documentation seems to be getting more and more scattered these days. I have random thoughts and some how lose them before I have the opportunity to write anything out. I find that once I'm focused on one aspect of life, it's difficult to get myself focused on another again. It is beyond frustrating. As I was riding along one of our many trails this morning, I suddenly realized how alone I was. Normally, our multi-use paths and trails are filled with people walking, running, biking or skating, and it felt a bit strange to suddenly comprehend that I hadn't passed or been passed by anyone. Sure, it's February, and the colder temperatures probably aren't helping anyone stick to their outdoor routines (though it has been incredibly warm for this time of year), but normally I see at least a lone individual out walking his/her dog.

It really is a beautiful season, despite what I often tell myself. I get caught up in the idea that everything is dead right now, and I grow weary of seeing all the dry trees without leaves, and the remnants of de-icer on the roads. My mind wanders into thoughts about the chemicals laid down after each snow and how they are probably destroying my bike tires, and before I know it I've ruined a perfectly lovely ride.

This morning, however, I allowed myself to appreciate what was around me and decided to take a longer route in to my morning kickboxing class. I seem to be battling a lot of demons these days and no matter how hard I try to work through them, to get them out and dealt with, the big ones seem to pop their heads up on a rather routine basis. Riding is simply one of the few times I feel as though I can let everything go. It doesn't matter how fast or slow I am, it doesn't matter if I pass anyone who might think I'm crazy, because the reality is even if they do see me talking to myself or crying, I'll be gone and over the next ridge before they give it a second thought. My two wheels really are the best kind of therapy - and it doesn't cost me a cent (sans the occasional flat tire or minor malfunction).

Today, my thoughts took me into some of the darkest places of my mind. I want to believe that I am changing and growing, but when the tangible results aren't visible, it's a lot easier to beat myself up than it is to be kind. Being nice to myself isn't necessarily a strong suit anyway. I often don't feel I deserve to show any sort of mercy with self-related matters. After all, what have I done to deserve any kindness? In a few days, I will have reached what I never wanted to get to - my four-month-iversary with this damn weight loss plateau. I can appreciate those who try to encourage me by saying that at least I'm maintaining the losses  accomplished before this all started (believe me, I do appreciate this), but at the same time, I am not a tiny person and I do my best to work hard every day to see changes in this body. I don't mean that I go on leisurely strolls with my dog or count folding laundry or doing dishes as a work out. I mean the kind of sweating that has me coming home questioning whether I can possibly do it again the next day (or sometimes, later in the same day). It feels so incredibly wrong, defeating, maddening, and many other adjectives I could come up with to not have physical validation that my efforts aren't in vain. Sure, I'm not working out six hours a day like some of the contestants on reality television shows, but I'm also not expecting to drop 10 lbs a week. How about a pound a week? That doesn't seem unreasonable. At this point, how about a pound a month? Anything would be more acceptable than what has happened. I find I want to push myself even harder, attempting to force results that simply do not want to materialize. I literally fight with whatever this "thing" is inside of me - sometimes out loud - telling it things like, "You think you're starving? I'll show you starving!" or "You think you've been working hard? You haven't seen anything yet!" believing that I can somehow manipulate the "beast" into cooperating.

So, this morning I decided to appreciate the slowly melting river and the few ducks that were swimming by. I took the time to embrace the fact that I had solitude on my ride and that in just a few months, that same path will be full of individuals out for their morning run, or racing to get the dog out before they head to work. I relished the idea of being able to swerve back and forth on the path, knowing that someone wasn't going to come racing around a blind corner (don't worry, I was paying attention - just in case). In short, I enjoyed the cold and the ride. I let myself laugh, cry, argue with the demons and the beast inside, and have a much needed therapy session, and I'll do the same as many winter days as possible.

One Door Closes, Another Opens

I'm sitting in an empty house this evening. It was a pretty big day, but it feels anti-climactic at the moment as my partner in crime is out of town for the day. Today was my last official day of class (and coincidentally, was also the first day my loan repayments begin on that same education). Was it worth it? Time will tell. At the moment, I feel drained of everything: energy, creativity, thought - all life, really. I want to believe that this has all been worthwhile and that only good things will come from the experience. I am not nearly as naive (despite what some may think) as I once was, and know that education doesn't necessarily equate to a better life, more money, or a better occupation. My foray into this round of school had nothing to do with monetary gains, however. I was (and still am) in need of a change of direction, and while others may see it as a waste of time and money, I do think this experience has taught me to stand up for myself, to believe in what I'm doing (even if no one else does), and to be willing to accept constructive criticism - taking from it items that will help me grow and become a better person.

Image here

I cannot help but think back to my first round of college just after high school. I was so excited about the possibilities. The world seemed open and exciting. At that point, I thought I would become a writer (yes, despite all of my horrible grammar, I believed I had some sort of "calling" to write). My family discouraged it because they said I had to have something to write about and that I hadn't experienced enough of life to be a good writer. Maybe they were right; maybe they were wrong - but I suppose it doesn't really matter as that facet of my life never really took hold. At that point in time, I took to heart everything and anything those older than me were saying. I'm sure they never realized how there thoughts were forming and morphing what I believed to be possible. When I expressed any interest in the arts it was discouraged. I recall telling my parents that I wanted to go to art school while I was still in high school, and they just shrugged it off, telling me that I'd go to a community college first and figure out what I 'really want to do' with my life. I didn't figure it out then, and honestly, I'm not sure I have it figured out now either.

Image here

I now (okay, not now, but in a few weeks as there is always a delay with degree dissemination) hold in my possession a piece of paper, supposedly "proving" that I am capable and competent in a subject matter - specifically, painting. Do I feel competent? No. Do I feel capable? Maybe, depending on the day. How exactly does an institution of learning decide that one person has what it takes to be an artist? During my time at my chosen university, I've realized that no one can tell a person s/he is an artist. They can discuss formal elements, history, design, various aesthetic likes/dislikes, color palette, and so on, but there are many artists who follow none of the rules, and yet somehow "make it" in their chosen profession (don't get me started on rules in art either because that idea seems so ridiculous to me - really an oxymoron in many respects).

Will I make it? I suppose it depends on how one defines "making it." I won't ever be famous, nor do I desire to be, but I believe in some sense just having the freedom to pursue a creative career is a form of success. I've had opportunities presented without seeking them, even before finishing my education. I feel fortunate to have met folks who have pointed out opportunities, or advised me to stay away from a certain venue. These relationships are invaluable, especially for a creative person who basically spends her time alone in a 10x12 room, trying to formulate a visual representation of ideas that often want to come out in words rather than pictures.

Recently, I had a meltdown at my neighbors' house. I'd gone over to drop something off and ended up crying in their dining room because they asked how everything was going. "I don't know if I can do this," came blubbering out of my mouth, which was followed by an apology for having a breakdown for seemingly no reason. The reality is, being an artist isn't easy. No one can tell me that I'm doing it right or wrong. The individual may like or not like a particular piece, but that doesn't make it bad (okay, sometimes it does mean it's bad - but not always). Unlike my former occupation(s), there isn't necessarily a right or wrong answer, there isn't a singular way to pursue this career, and there is no formula to determine the correct path. There may even be multiple paths - at the same time - and no one can say with certainty what is waiting at the end of each of those forks in the road. In many ways, that is the beauty of this sort of career. I have the opportunity to check out a multitude of various paths and see where they take me. It's also the scary part of this career because there may be more paths to failure than success.

Although I'm tentative about what is to come, I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to finish out this degree that was a long time in the making. I may not feel ready to be out on my own, or believe that the world is my oyster as I did in my early 20s, but there is hope for my future in this field - at least in some form. Like my writing, my artwork certainly isn't the best, and no one is beating down my door to see what I will come up with for my next project, but I have nothing but time - and unlike a "real" job, it's all just practice.  And the best part... I can't be fired. I wait with excitement and anticipation for what is to come.

Back to School

In May, as I was sharing my absolute joy with being done with school, there was a part of me that couldn't believe it was all coming to an end. As I now realize, perhaps that was because somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew that fate had another plan. After the institution reviewed all of my credits (of which I have far, far more than I need), they made the discovery that one of the classes that was supposed to count toward a particular sub-category, doesn't count towards that area, and I am lacking one class. That's right folks, despite the fact that I have more units than any human should have for a single degree, I am missing one class. Turns out that because this particular class was offered under the "Industrial Design" program rather than the "Fine Arts" program, the drawing class won't count towards my needed-in-a-particular-category column, and I will have to return this month for another round. {heavy sigh}

*Image found here

I've been through all the stages: denial (this is a joke, right? Seriously... where's the hidden camera), bargaining (but, it's a drawing class - why doesn't it count under the "drawing" category? Can't you just make an exception? I have so many extra units... doesn't something count towards this category?), anger (I knew I shouldn't have gone back to school! Maybe I just won't finish at all... that'll show 'em.), depression (Why get out of bed? What's the point... they'll just find something else. Can we get a donut? I might as well get fatter. <-- for the record, I never got a donut), and finally now, after dealing with it as best I can - acceptance. After all, what can I do about it?  I found a class that will at least be tolerable (I hope!), and I'm returning for a final round of 16 weeks/4 months of "fun." On the up side, it is only one class, and hopefully it won't take away too much from other happenings in life. Besides, I can take this opportunity to increase my G.P.A. (hey, I need something to keep me motivated)... If I can squeeze an "A" out of the class, I'll officially graduate magna cum laude, instead of cum laude. I suppose we do what we need to do to keep ourselves moving forward, and I'm moving forward... whether I chose to like it or not.

The Ideal City: Biking, Dogs, Arts, and Friendly Folks

Today, as we stare out the windows at our smoke-filled city/region,  Sam and I have been discussing our future, and where exactly that future might take place. Now that I've completed my degree, there is nothing in particular to keep us where we are, except for Sam's job, which could fairly easily be replaced in most cities. While I absolutely think this little city of ours is adorable and full of turn-of-the-century charm, it is lacking in areas for two not ready to retire and no small children in tow folks.

*Image source here

What we do love about our city is that there are lots of wide lane roads, bike lanes/people out on bicycles, historic old houses/mature neighborhoods, it's fairly dog-friendly, it's close to the mountains but not in the mountains, there are reservoirs close by, the weather is fairly mild, even in the winter, and the ease with which we can get around {at least in town}. The things we don't enjoy so much are the lack of reliable and well thought out public transportation options, especially to outlying areas, lack of things to do locally, lack of good shopping stops {e.g. shops closing very early, and/or not open on Sunday's, and quality of merchandise is sub-par}, residents who are unappreciative of the positive things that are available, lack of 30- to 40-somethings who want to participate in activities outside of changing diapers or little league {we have no issue with people having children, but it would be nice to find some folks who aren't solely wrapped up in kiddo activities}, and the city's rather out of the way location.

We both like it here, however, there seems to be a variety of areas that could be improved upon, and while we believe the city recognizes this, changes seem to be decades in the making, and we have to decide if we love it enough to stick it out in hopes of contributing to and waiting out the changes, or simply finding a spot where we are more comfortable living the life that we think is best for us.

Sam is an Information Technology Manager {professionally} and a ceramicist/bike mechanic {on more of a part-time/hobby-ish level}, and I am an emerging artist {painter, primarily}. The benefit is that as long as Sam can find work, I can do my job anywhere. We would prefer an area that has at least a small interest in the arts, and a dog-friendly area would be nice, too. While we don't trudge around with our dogs everywhere we go, it would be nice to know that there would be areas to take them and/or be able to find housing that would allow them {if we were to rent}. It's also important that there are somewhat affordable housing options {at least in comparison to salaries in the area}, and prefer that it be a city that has a variety of people from different backgrounds. Of course, bike-friendly is at the top of the list as well. I would love to have beaches nearby as I miss them greatly, but any sort of water in the area could substitute nicely.

*Image source here

As for the size of the city, I think we're fairly open. I'm not sure either of us are ready to commit to NYC, but I don't think we want to live on a farm with miles between us and the next neighbor either. We enjoy larger cities, but I think we're more comfortable with cities such as Denver, Milwaukee, San Francisco, etc... those that feel easier to navigate around/manageable. We're open to smaller areas as well. We loved most of Wisconsin when we visited a couple of summers past, but I'm not sure we're ones to deal with the winter months, but perhaps this is something we would adapt to? We both like interesting architecture as well {though I realize this is somewhat limited here in the states}, so it would definitely be a bonus to live in a place with lots of fun buildings/houses. We're open to any part of the country, so there aren't any geographical barriers...We're open to west coast, east coast, or somewhere in between.

Although I realize no one can make a decision for us {nor would we want anyone to}, and no city will fulfill every wish-list item, there are many people who happen by this space that are bikey-type people, so I was hoping maybe you all might have suggestions based on our desires for a possible future home. Do you love your city, or know of a place that might fit the bill? We'd love to hear what you think. If you could live anywhere, where would you live, and why?

Time to Breathe - Almost Through!

Wow! It's been so long since I've posted that the whole Blogger set up has changed. I suppose that should tell me something. I feel as though I'm in a foreign land, trying to navigate through something that I used to find quite familiar. I will say, however, that my absence from this space has been filled by many other activities, the most important of which was my art exhibition to finish out my degree. It went off without a hitch, and after two hours of my nerves keeping me anywhere buy near my designated space, I finally calmed down and felt comfortable enough to talk with people. This was one of those moments that I wished I had taken the many, many opportunities to show at other locations during my time in school. I think it would've helped alleviate a good portion of my anxiety. I have shown work prior to this exhibition, but there was little expected of me, and they were typically very causal places so it didn't bother me (at least too much) to have work hanging.

This little pigeon was hanging out in another individual's artwork, but blended quite nicely

I was extremely fortunate to have many friends and family on hand who kept me from running out a back door during the show. My brother came in from Australia, which was really fun, and I had the opportunity to see friends I haven't seen in many months. Truly, the best part of the exhibition was having the opportunity to watch people reacting to the work. I can see how it would be quite addictive!

The pigeons were all over the gallery space, even in others' art, but a couple of sections had faux-droppings, and pigeon sounds were found in this area as well.
(My apologies about the quality of photos... of course, no good camera was on hand.)

After the exhibition on Friday evening, I had the not-so-fabulous pleasure of meeting with my oral review board to defend my work. As it was explained to me, I would talk for 10-15 minutes, and then the board would ask questions as they saw fit. I was so nervous about it that I had to write out nearly everything I intended to say and go over it so many times that anyone should've been able to remember it easily. What ended up taking place was far less of a speech, and much more of a defense than I ever thought possible. Still, I lived to fight another day, and also reconfirmed for myself that I definitely don't belong among the pretentious portion of the art world. This is not to say that I won't produce art, but I definitely have no intention of trying to mold myself into what they see as a "proper fine artist," and will instead continue on doing my "coffee shop art." (<--- This is a direct quote from the board.)

Kickboxing has continued on for me as well, and I'm really enjoying the class (I know Melanie and Sam are playing along, but if anyone else wants to join in or has been participating silently in our self-motivated games/contest, May 1st is almost here, which will be our first check in date). I seem to be getting stronger, even discovering muscles I never knew existed, and am realizing how much potential I actually have to improve (that is code for "this class is tough"). I'm also still riding my bikes, as I hope everyone else is continuing to do. My rides haven't been long, but I hope that will change in the next couple of weeks as I wrap things up at school.

Oh, and if you're local, the Farmer's Market Bike Valet will be coming back early (due to popular demand) on Saturday, May 5th, so ride your bike and we'll all be happy to park your ride for you while you do your shopping.

Gone to the Birds

"Your reflective, open-ended approach to life produces far more questions than answers."

Pigeons in progress... and this process is never ending, I swear. It's also how I spend most of my time these days.

In case you're wondering, no, the above statement is not a fortune cookie or a psychics' prediction. This is the last line of a short synopsis I recently read about myself, or more accurately, my personality type. I really couldn't help but identify with the statement, particularly in recent weeks (though it's always true). Truly, I seem to have gone into introspection mode, and I find that often means I don't write as much (oddly). I spend a lot of time thinking, pondering, wondering, reading... all of which (generally speaking) leads to nothing good or, perhaps more importantly, nothing productive.

One of my favorite pigeons in progress... s/he has the most interesting/inquisitive look on his/her face

No profound or eureka moments seem to come from these times of thinking, but I believe it's important for me to go through them. They are the times that allow me to regroup and understand my place in the world, where I want to be, where I'm headed, and the like. What does this have to do with bicycles, or even art? Nothing, and everything.

I am a thinker, and always have been. Even when it seems as though there's nothing going on, the hamster wheel is always turning. I think more than I should, and spend far too much time concerned with what others think of me, what I've said (or not said), or reacting to situations that really don't affect me on any sort of personal or professional level. I easily lose myself in thoughts that lead to other thoughts, which lead to completely unrelated topics, and I can quite easily lose an entire day in the bat of an eye. Literally.

It starts out rather innocently. For example, let's say I'm just reading in the morning to see what other bloggers have posted (have to keep up on these things, you know). I read something that sparks my interest, let's say for illustration purposes here, it's about a bicycle I've never heard of prior to that post. So, I start looking into said bicycle, and it turns out this bicycle is manufactured in (again for illustrative purposes only) Ethiopia. Reading the word "Ethiopia" reminds me of my Art of Africa course, which reminds me that I have a mid term approaching in the next few days and that I should likely be studying instead of reading blogs and researching bicycles. Thinking about classes reminds me that I'm unsure of what I'm going to do when I'm out of school in the next several months, so I start researching career possibilities for my "type" of personality. What do others do who are like me? Are they happy in their career? Should I be getting a teaching credential? Am I the "teacher" type? Will that exhaust me and leave me feeling unfulfilled. I've worked at schools/colleges in the past, so I know the drill. Can I stand up to the "powers" and be the best teacher possible? Reading about burnt out teachers leads me to think I should be in business for myself, but what kind of business? Where would that money come from? What happens when it fails and I have student loans, and on top of it a business loan to repay? New businesses generally require at minimum a couple of years to even turn a profit. Maybe I need to go to grad school? I always wanted to study law, or history, or psychology, or geology and geography. Which reminds me of the earth, which reminds me of bicycles. Maybe I should make bicycle accessories? Maybe I should finally start that wool line for all sizes that I keep looking for to no avail?  And so it goes. My mind wanders, and time flies by leaving me with even more to accomplish and no time to get it all done. While I am aware I need these days, I'm still upset when I know that an entire day has gone by and little to nothing has been accomplished.

Why am I sharing this? I can't really say, other than I'm trying to figure some things out, and posts seem to slow during these times. I'll be out of my funk introspection period soon enough, but until then, please bear with me and know that bicycles are always on my mind (and staring at me from across the room, calling to me to come and ride). Hope you're out enjoying this gorgeous season on your own two wheels!

Fun Bicycle Fabrics

I'm in the midst of working on my thesis painting project, and while I find many excuses not to be working on the things I should be doing, this is relevant to both my "work" at the moment, and bicycles, so I thought I'd quickly share. My thesis project has me working on non-traditional canvas, and I'm instead working with various printed fabrics. I went on a hunt to find some bike fabric and found a ton of wonderful options.

I ended up purchasing only two of them because I don't need much, and I needed some fairly specific qualities out of the fabric, but if anyone out there is in search of bike fabrics for various projects or crafts, Etsy seems to have a plethora of choices at the moment. I also couldn't help but notice that one of the fabrics I selected is quite similar to some of the Po Campo fabrics I've seen recently.

The coloring is a bit different on each of them, but I couldn't help but think, "I've seen this somewhere before." While I'm not a particularly crafty person, I know there are a lot of people who do some really beautiful and creative things with fabrics and other items. Has anyone had the opportunity to see any fun bicycle "stuff" recently, or made anything you're proud of?

Bicycle Obsession

How do you know when you've become too "in to" bicycles? Perhaps a good indicator is when loved ones start bringing home bicycle-related paraphernalia (paintings, pictures, posters, etc).

Copper coated bicycle sculpture

I also love this ghostly image of the sculpture...almost makes him seem in motion!

I absolutely adore this bicycle sculpture, and it was a lovely surprise gift to receive for no particular reason. I have to admit though, it did cause me to ask myself, "Where is the line between obsession and enjoyment?" Do you find that others seek out bicycle "stuff" to give you, or do you find them saying things like, "Oh, I saw the cutest little bike {fill-in-the-blank} and thought of you" on a regular basis? I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this.

Friday Night Art Walk

During some of the summer months, the city of Longmont hosts an evening Art Walk down a portion of Main Street. Many of the local stores participate and turn into art galleries. They also shut down several blocks of Main Street, allowing people to walk down the middle of the road and enjoy.

Fortunately for us, we now live a very short bike ride or walk from where all the happenings take place. This past Friday was the first of these art walks for the summer months, and as luck would have it, the rain clouds decided to let up for the few hours of the festivities.

While I seem to always forget the camera at home, I did have the camera phone to get a couple of shots of Main Street. This particular Art Walk wasn't as spectacular or full as they sometimes are, but I think much of that had to do with the weather, and it being the first of the season. It was nice to be able to walk to it, rather than having to drive as we have in the past, and we even discovered that Bicycle Longmont actually has bike valet available (we will definitely take advantage of this in the future!).

(My apologies for the fuzzy shots, once again) While there wasn't a ton happening, I was happy to see that there were quite a few people checking out art at the Firehouse Gallery (which is currently showing some pretty incredible paper sculpture art) and the Muse Gallery, where I was able to meet one of the artists whose work I've admired at several shows.

Even though I seem to be coming down with some sort of illness, the break from the rain and the ability to just breathe in fresh air was so enjoyable. I hope others are able to get out this weekend and see your own local sights by bike, at least before it's too late on Saturday. :o)

Another Art Show - Pablo Neruda

Another art show has come to fruition... This one is a Pablo Neruda Festival for which my painting class has been asked to create works that reference some of Neruda's poetry. If you're in the Denver area and are bored Friday evening, or just want to check out something different, you should definitely take a look!

While I'm not thrilled with my painting, it looks like there will be some very interesting things to see... so, come check it out! The show opens Friday, April 1, and will run until April 29.

First Friday at Tennyson's Tap

Last night we went to the art exhibition at Tennyson's Tap, as well as checking out the local art on Tennyson Street in Denver. It was a strange feeling to have a piece of art hanging somewhere than in the closet of my art space, or in our living room at home.

I, unfortunately, forgot the camera, so all I had was the camera phone, in a poorly lit space, so the photos are not fabulous. Our friend, Will, who had come along as support, sold me out about 15 seconds after we arrived on site. I had gone to greet the curator of the show when I turned around to, "Her! There she is. She did it!" and a gentleman asking about my "barn" painting.

I was a bit shocked (and unprepared) to be asked questions about the painting, but I think I did okay, considering that I am always highly unsure of what to say about my work. I have to admit, it was pretty cool to see a painting of mine hanging up in a show though. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.

A live musician was playing while we were there, which definitely made the mood more lively, and also relaxed (which is great for me as I fear the typical gallery scene and its formalities). There were also some other interesting pieces to see, some of which I hadn't viewed prior to the show. It was definitely fun to check out the work of others as well. Overall, a good experience, and again, if anyone is in the Denver area, the exhibit will be up until mid-April, so I would highly recommend coming in to check it out.

Art Exhibition

If anyone in the Denver area will be around this Friday, I hope you'll take a bit of time to come out to First Friday and take a peek at some of the artwork by myself and fellow classmates at Tennyson Tap at 38th and Tennyson. The theme is "landscapes" and there are some very interesting pieces... everything from the quite abstract to very literal, so a bit for everyone's tastes.  Plus, all the galleries on Tennyson will be open for the normal First Friday routine. Fun should be had by all!  If you can't make it out for First Friday, the show will be up until mid-April, so there will be plenty of time to come by and take a look (Plus, there's the added bonus of being able to get a beer on-site).

More Abstract Nonsense

I started my final painting for my painting class a couple of weeks ago. It was based off of a photo found at a mercantile of a few friends on bicycles who were roaming somewhere in England on a day off from the Navy during WWII. I desperately want this to be a good painting, because it's something I'd like to keep. Unfortunately, time has not been on my side, and the painting has been saved for another time to complete when I have more than a few days to put the work into it that I would like to so that it is what I hope it will be.

Instead, I started a completely new painting today... an abstract painting. Abstracts put the fear of God in me, I can tell you as they never seem to come out the way I want them to. Perhaps it's the pressure the instructors put on me, or perhaps they just aren't my forte, but they never seem to come together for me. So, when I started today, I was already a bit scared from the get go. I had a loose plan, but I told myself it was okay to revise as I went along. Forgive the horrid quality of the photos, as they were taken with a crappy camera phone, but I think the idea comes across that my mood shifted dramatically while working on this.

This was round two of working on the canvas. Basically, I had covered the canvas with an ultramarine blue color and then covered that with a blend of cadmium orange, pale yellow, magenta, and a bit of titanium white. I was actually pretty happy with this, and considered just doing some slight changes and turning it in. But, I changed my mind and went on to the next layer.

I wasn't sure what to make of it during this stage, and just kind of kept adding more layers onto the work, to see if something would happen. it also seemed very monotone in value, so I decided to add in some whites.

The layering process continued and I started to see this more as a darker painting than one that was so light as it was originally. So, I kept playing with it.

Was I just making a giant mess? That is how it was seeming to go. Colors were getting muddy, how should I get through this? Should I just start over? Who knows... but I kept going.

I could really see this turning dark, and wasn't sure if I wanted to leave it as such, or if I liked it better in the original state with the more orange colors.

The above photo was my stopping point this afternoon. I decided that I need to give myself a bit of a break to decide where I'm going with this because I've now taken something that started off so light and fairly delicate into a very dark place. Strangely, I like both the light and dark versions, but I feel that compositionally there is much to be desired, so I need to give myself a bit of room and time (though not much as tomorrow is my last day to work on this) to decide what needs to be done. I think the process has been quite therapeutic, regardless of the ultimate outcome.

Mr. Stench

This last week of classes (well, almost last week, as next week will be finals) has me racing about attempting to finish all the work I've procrastinated in completing. Why is it that even when it's something I enjoy, I still put off getting it done? Can't quite figure that out. At the moment, I'm working on my last (thank God) watercolor painting. I'm about 3/4 of the way through it, it's due tomorrow (Wednesday) evening, and I'm realizing that watercolor is perhaps not my media. Okay, there's no "perhaps" about it. It's just not my friend. Maybe I need more time with the medium, or I just haven't found a method that works for me, but I'm glad this is wrapping up in the near future.

Since everyone seems to take every project entirely too seriously, I have opted to do a portrait of Johnny Depp (aka Mr. Stench). I've had a few looks while working on this in class that seem to say, "Seriously? This is what you're working on?" But I really don't care. It amuses me because my classmates (for the most part) seem to think that everything must be entirely serious art work with an obviously deep message. The message here? I'm sick of thinking, I don't want anything deep and meaningful at the moment, and J.D. is just awesome.

The strange light orange spots are actually masking fluid to keep the whites clean, so they'll be coming off toward the end of this little project. I'm nearing the end... and I feel a countdown ticking in my head!

Working with Others

Several weeks ago I was thinking back to high school days and remember assignments that required the class to separate into various groups to complete a specific project, or "group projects" as most of us remember them. I always despised these assignments because I was the student who would end up doing all of the work, yet somehow would get a lesser grade because my cohorts would decide that it wasn't that important, and thus my grade would suffer. The point was always to learn how to work with others, use strengths and weaknesses to the best advantage, and to learn to compromise. While I've never had a problem with any of the three areas, the projects were simply painful because there will inevitably be a couple of students who decide that they don't care if they pass or fail.

A couple of weeks after I was having thoughts of those not-so-fabulous days back in school, I was informed that my Watermedia class would be doing a group project. Oh dear God. It was happening all over again. Hadn't we passed up the time of being forced into groups to work together on something? Immediately, I crinkled my nose and had flashbacks of times I would honestly rather forget. We were able at least to work in groups of two, so I thought there was a solid chance this could work in my favor. After all, when there are only two individuals in a group, it becomes obvious when one person isn't pulling his or her weight, right? Mostly by default, I ended up pairing off with someone I know from other classes, and whom I know somewhat well. Finally, the group project was going to work out, I thought.

The project required us to come to a consensus on an idea, then work together either on a single piece of water color paper, or divide the piece up and create smaller pieces. The work should look cohesive and as though there was a single thought in mind. My partner had an idea to produce smaller individual pieces that illustrated various places in Denver. It sounded good to me because we could make simple to more complex pieces and then mix them together. She was going to take places such as restaurants and hotels, while I would stick more to other known locations, road signs and the like.

This project is due in approximately 10 hours, and I have had zero communication or feedback in regard to how we intend to display this project (mounting the pieces, order of the pieces, and the like), nor as to whether or not my partner will have the project done by class time. I sent emails early last week, but have yet to receive a reply. While my pieces are still in need of work, I know that I will get them done before class starts this evening. We also are supposed to work on an artist statement together. Since we knew this wasn't going to happen, I wrote something up, sent it over for her review, and have yet to hear back about it.

So, what's a girl to do? Do I make an executive decision, go out and purchase something to mount the 16 pieces to, or do we just hang them individually and hope that it doesn't look tacky or unfinished?

I feel as though we've already pushed this until the last minute, and now I'm not entirely sure what to do. Do I simply work on my pieces until I feel they are complete and not worry about mounting them, since it was her idea, or do I go ahead and use my idea (which was to get Rand McNally maps as backdrops and photo edges to frame the pieces)?

What happens when she decides she doesn't want to use these for framing? Do I care? Of course I care, or this wouldn't be on my mind, but I suppose I have been reminded once again that is always easier to do these projects alone. When you can't make decisions, or are unable to finish a project on time, at least you have only yourself to blame; but when there are others involved, it somehow takes on a whole new set of potential issues. I'm honestly not upset with my partner, but rather perplexed as to why it isn't of more importance.  I suppose it will all come together and I shouldn't be worrying about it so early in the morning,  but I also know that last minute ideas often look as though they are such, so I'm hoping we are able to pull this one out as a team, rather than ending up arguing over little details in the last moments.

Finding a Place

Saturday has been an entirely enjoyable, great day. We were able to get out of the house and enjoy the beautifully clear skies, and we had the opportunity to check out a new art gallery here in Longmont called Rabid Rabit Gallery. The current show (which is ending in just a few days), is called Sacred Space.  I was fascinated to see all of the different types of artwork that fit into the theme of the show. Everything from handmade jewelry to ceramics to paintings. I thought it was quite an interesting show, and an adorable space. I should've taken some pictures, but I was enamored with the whole space and left before I realized I had nothing to share.

At times, I feel entirely disconnected from the local art scene, as I spend most of my days in Denver. Each time I visit a space in town I feel as though I learn a bit more about the art community that is right around me; and, as Sam pointed out, I realize that I truly am much more comfortable in a more easy-going, bohemian kind of atmosphere. Overall, I'm pretty laid back, but I have my moments of "type A" personality that can rear its head at the appropriate moment(s). Calling myself an "artist" still takes a bit of work, but I'm getting there. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to call myself an artist without laughing about it. As I get closer to nearing the end of my time in school though, I can't help but question how much I've learned if I don't even want to show anyone the work I've done.

The longer we are here the more attached I become to the city though. It's hard not to like it when there's pretty much anything one could want within semi-reasonable distance. Plus, when you can have a gorgeous day like today, with 50 degree weather, no wind, and clear skies, on a nearly-December day, why would anyone ever leave?

Bicycle Painting Ideas?

My next (and final) painting project for one of my courses is to be a subject matter of my choosing. The instructions are, "As long as it has a good concept, the sky's the limit." That leaves a lot of room for me to think, ponder, second-guess and so on. The initial idea I had was to go with something I'm currently experiencing and feeling, but I also have tucked away in the back of my head something related to bicycles. I really haven't done a bicycle painting, with the exception of a quick abstract sort of work almost a year ago, and it wasn't something I liked at all.

That project just became too crafty looking (not that I am against crafts, but that wasn't the point of this project), and since it was completed in just a couple of hours, it shows. Plus, it's really not identifiable. Anyway, so I'm attempting to come up with an idea that makes sense to me, and that will keep me motivated to complete the painting. Thoughts such as bikes=enlightenment or perhaps just having a sea of bikes keep coming to mind. The problem is, I'm not sure it will be viewed as art, but rather as some giant poster, or an idea that didn't materialize. I've also considered combining the bicycle thought with my prior idea, which centered more around the idea of invisibility, or disappearing into the masses. Something ala Carol Carter, like the one below.

*Image from watercolorcarol.blogspot.com

While I haven't completely concocted a good plan for this project, the wheels are turning, and I'm always up for suggestions.

Random Info

Once again, Colorado, and specifically Boulder, is burning to the ground. We've had more than our fair share over the last several weeks, but this one seems to be under better control than the last couple we've experienced in the area.

In bicycle news, a four year old child is apparently able to be sued for riding a bicycle on the pavement and striking an elderly woman (who died several months later after surgery on her hip), an NY judge has ruled. What is this world coming to?

On a personal note, I decided to ditch my all day painting class today and instead spent the day pretty much doing pointless, random activities. I have to say, it was awesome (and I even snuck in a nap - which NEVER happens). After a bad review of my last two pieces, I just wasn't ready to face the painting world today.

I think a nice bike ride to enjoy our lovely high 70s weather is in order tomorrow, certainly!

Happy Friday!!

Messy Girl

Though it's of no great surprise to those who know me well, I have come to the conclusion that I am a highly messy individual. Not dirty, but messy.  I don't know what it is, but for some reason, I don't seem to be able to put things back where they belong. As a child, this got me into a lot of trouble, and I was constantly cleaning my room, or picking things up that I had left around. My mother is the exact opposite of this behavior and thinks that everything should always be in its proper place. I have come to the realization though that I truly believe there is something innately part of me that prohibits me from putting things away.

Shoes worn and left in the living room, where I took them off when coming home

The above shot is a picture of my sandals that I always take off when I come home. Where are they sitting? In the living room, on the floor, pretty much in a major walk way so that people (e.g. Sam) trip on them when coming through the space. Then, I look in front of where I'm sitting and I see yet another bunch of things that aren't where they belong.

Art/Music books sitting around

This is the storage chest that we use for a coffee table in the living room. What do we find on it? Let's see: I have a painting book, a music book, music CDs, a watercolor painting book, book marking tabs, and several pieces of paper. Why are they sitting here? Because this is where I last used these items, and apparently, I am incapable of putting them somewhere out of sight. It's not just books and shoes that I leave out either. I also leave dishes in the sink (that I could just as easily put in the dishwasher), and clothes on the dresser that I could very simply put away by opening a drawer. And, let's not even get started on the supposed 'art room,' which is a ghastly mess of paint tubes, paper, rolls of canvas, pencils, liquid containers, palettes, and other various items that I need at one point or another.

The real kicker for me took place when I realized that I had several pairs of eyeglasses sitting on the ledge in our kitchen.

My own eyeglass store!

Yup. Those are my glasses, and sadly, not even all of them, sitting atop the device that separates our kitchen from our living room. Is this a storage place? No. Is it where G.E. stores her glasses? Apparently. I also seem to think this is a jewelry catcher, and the counter top that is vaguely seen in the background? Yes, I also think that is storage for purses, bags, and other paraphernalia. I don't think I am even aware of how many times a day I just take something off and put it wherever I am.

How G.E. sees the world w/out glasses

If a psychologist was analyzing the situation, perhaps s/he would say that it's because my mother was a neat freak as I was growing up, and therefore, I am rebelling against what I was told to do all of my adolescence. I honestly don't think that is the case though. While I can obviously see that there are things sitting out and about, or open for the taking, I think that I am often highly absorbed in my thoughts and I simply don't even realize the mess that is forming around me.

Chablis, nosing through the storage chest

Then, one day I suddenly 'wake up' and see that there is a huge mess all around me. I begin a mass clean up production and begin to put everything back in its place. Once all is clean and put away, the process starts over again. Even Sam gets involved, such as this past long weekend when he decided that he needed to do a deep cleaning and was going to move all the furniture and vacuum/sweep/mop/etc.

Large, reclining chair (great for napping!)

When moving the large chair in the picture above, he discovered my DSLR camera cord that I have been missing for about a year and a half now. While I had assumed that Levi, the always hungry Golden Retriever had ate the cord, and thus provoked the purchase of a new one, it was actually somehow wedged into a crevasse of the chair.

Who couldn't love this guy?

Poor Levi. I had to apologize to him for yelling at him so long ago (though I don't think he recalled the incident). I felt horrible, but was actually pleased that he had not consumed the wires and rubber casing. All of this because I cannot seem to put things away.

So, what have I learned from all of this? I am a very messy girl, who needs to be more aware of the things she's leaving sitting around. I make no promises, but hopefully I can slowly become more conscious of my surroundings and realize that it's often only one more step to just put something away.