One Door Closes, Another Opens

I'm sitting in an empty house this evening. It was a pretty big day, but it feels anti-climactic at the moment as my partner in crime is out of town for the day. Today was my last official day of class (and coincidentally, was also the first day my loan repayments begin on that same education). Was it worth it? Time will tell. At the moment, I feel drained of everything: energy, creativity, thought - all life, really. I want to believe that this has all been worthwhile and that only good things will come from the experience. I am not nearly as naive (despite what some may think) as I once was, and know that education doesn't necessarily equate to a better life, more money, or a better occupation. My foray into this round of school had nothing to do with monetary gains, however. I was (and still am) in need of a change of direction, and while others may see it as a waste of time and money, I do think this experience has taught me to stand up for myself, to believe in what I'm doing (even if no one else does), and to be willing to accept constructive criticism - taking from it items that will help me grow and become a better person.

Image here

I cannot help but think back to my first round of college just after high school. I was so excited about the possibilities. The world seemed open and exciting. At that point, I thought I would become a writer (yes, despite all of my horrible grammar, I believed I had some sort of "calling" to write). My family discouraged it because they said I had to have something to write about and that I hadn't experienced enough of life to be a good writer. Maybe they were right; maybe they were wrong - but I suppose it doesn't really matter as that facet of my life never really took hold. At that point in time, I took to heart everything and anything those older than me were saying. I'm sure they never realized how there thoughts were forming and morphing what I believed to be possible. When I expressed any interest in the arts it was discouraged. I recall telling my parents that I wanted to go to art school while I was still in high school, and they just shrugged it off, telling me that I'd go to a community college first and figure out what I 'really want to do' with my life. I didn't figure it out then, and honestly, I'm not sure I have it figured out now either.

Image here

I now (okay, not now, but in a few weeks as there is always a delay with degree dissemination) hold in my possession a piece of paper, supposedly "proving" that I am capable and competent in a subject matter - specifically, painting. Do I feel competent? No. Do I feel capable? Maybe, depending on the day. How exactly does an institution of learning decide that one person has what it takes to be an artist? During my time at my chosen university, I've realized that no one can tell a person s/he is an artist. They can discuss formal elements, history, design, various aesthetic likes/dislikes, color palette, and so on, but there are many artists who follow none of the rules, and yet somehow "make it" in their chosen profession (don't get me started on rules in art either because that idea seems so ridiculous to me - really an oxymoron in many respects).

Will I make it? I suppose it depends on how one defines "making it." I won't ever be famous, nor do I desire to be, but I believe in some sense just having the freedom to pursue a creative career is a form of success. I've had opportunities presented without seeking them, even before finishing my education. I feel fortunate to have met folks who have pointed out opportunities, or advised me to stay away from a certain venue. These relationships are invaluable, especially for a creative person who basically spends her time alone in a 10x12 room, trying to formulate a visual representation of ideas that often want to come out in words rather than pictures.

Recently, I had a meltdown at my neighbors' house. I'd gone over to drop something off and ended up crying in their dining room because they asked how everything was going. "I don't know if I can do this," came blubbering out of my mouth, which was followed by an apology for having a breakdown for seemingly no reason. The reality is, being an artist isn't easy. No one can tell me that I'm doing it right or wrong. The individual may like or not like a particular piece, but that doesn't make it bad (okay, sometimes it does mean it's bad - but not always). Unlike my former occupation(s), there isn't necessarily a right or wrong answer, there isn't a singular way to pursue this career, and there is no formula to determine the correct path. There may even be multiple paths - at the same time - and no one can say with certainty what is waiting at the end of each of those forks in the road. In many ways, that is the beauty of this sort of career. I have the opportunity to check out a multitude of various paths and see where they take me. It's also the scary part of this career because there may be more paths to failure than success.

Although I'm tentative about what is to come, I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to finish out this degree that was a long time in the making. I may not feel ready to be out on my own, or believe that the world is my oyster as I did in my early 20s, but there is hope for my future in this field - at least in some form. Like my writing, my artwork certainly isn't the best, and no one is beating down my door to see what I will come up with for my next project, but I have nothing but time - and unlike a "real" job, it's all just practice.  And the best part... I can't be fired. I wait with excitement and anticipation for what is to come.

Back to School

In May, as I was sharing my absolute joy with being done with school, there was a part of me that couldn't believe it was all coming to an end. As I now realize, perhaps that was because somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew that fate had another plan. After the institution reviewed all of my credits (of which I have far, far more than I need), they made the discovery that one of the classes that was supposed to count toward a particular sub-category, doesn't count towards that area, and I am lacking one class. That's right folks, despite the fact that I have more units than any human should have for a single degree, I am missing one class. Turns out that because this particular class was offered under the "Industrial Design" program rather than the "Fine Arts" program, the drawing class won't count towards my needed-in-a-particular-category column, and I will have to return this month for another round. {heavy sigh}

*Image found here

I've been through all the stages: denial (this is a joke, right? Seriously... where's the hidden camera), bargaining (but, it's a drawing class - why doesn't it count under the "drawing" category? Can't you just make an exception? I have so many extra units... doesn't something count towards this category?), anger (I knew I shouldn't have gone back to school! Maybe I just won't finish at all... that'll show 'em.), depression (Why get out of bed? What's the point... they'll just find something else. Can we get a donut? I might as well get fatter. <-- for the record, I never got a donut), and finally now, after dealing with it as best I can - acceptance. After all, what can I do about it?  I found a class that will at least be tolerable (I hope!), and I'm returning for a final round of 16 weeks/4 months of "fun." On the up side, it is only one class, and hopefully it won't take away too much from other happenings in life. Besides, I can take this opportunity to increase my G.P.A. (hey, I need something to keep me motivated)... If I can squeeze an "A" out of the class, I'll officially graduate magna cum laude, instead of cum laude. I suppose we do what we need to do to keep ourselves moving forward, and I'm moving forward... whether I chose to like it or not.

Time to Breathe - Almost Through!

Wow! It's been so long since I've posted that the whole Blogger set up has changed. I suppose that should tell me something. I feel as though I'm in a foreign land, trying to navigate through something that I used to find quite familiar. I will say, however, that my absence from this space has been filled by many other activities, the most important of which was my art exhibition to finish out my degree. It went off without a hitch, and after two hours of my nerves keeping me anywhere buy near my designated space, I finally calmed down and felt comfortable enough to talk with people. This was one of those moments that I wished I had taken the many, many opportunities to show at other locations during my time in school. I think it would've helped alleviate a good portion of my anxiety. I have shown work prior to this exhibition, but there was little expected of me, and they were typically very causal places so it didn't bother me (at least too much) to have work hanging.

This little pigeon was hanging out in another individual's artwork, but blended quite nicely

I was extremely fortunate to have many friends and family on hand who kept me from running out a back door during the show. My brother came in from Australia, which was really fun, and I had the opportunity to see friends I haven't seen in many months. Truly, the best part of the exhibition was having the opportunity to watch people reacting to the work. I can see how it would be quite addictive!

The pigeons were all over the gallery space, even in others' art, but a couple of sections had faux-droppings, and pigeon sounds were found in this area as well.
(My apologies about the quality of photos... of course, no good camera was on hand.)

After the exhibition on Friday evening, I had the not-so-fabulous pleasure of meeting with my oral review board to defend my work. As it was explained to me, I would talk for 10-15 minutes, and then the board would ask questions as they saw fit. I was so nervous about it that I had to write out nearly everything I intended to say and go over it so many times that anyone should've been able to remember it easily. What ended up taking place was far less of a speech, and much more of a defense than I ever thought possible. Still, I lived to fight another day, and also reconfirmed for myself that I definitely don't belong among the pretentious portion of the art world. This is not to say that I won't produce art, but I definitely have no intention of trying to mold myself into what they see as a "proper fine artist," and will instead continue on doing my "coffee shop art." (<--- This is a direct quote from the board.)

Kickboxing has continued on for me as well, and I'm really enjoying the class (I know Melanie and Sam are playing along, but if anyone else wants to join in or has been participating silently in our self-motivated games/contest, May 1st is almost here, which will be our first check in date). I seem to be getting stronger, even discovering muscles I never knew existed, and am realizing how much potential I actually have to improve (that is code for "this class is tough"). I'm also still riding my bikes, as I hope everyone else is continuing to do. My rides haven't been long, but I hope that will change in the next couple of weeks as I wrap things up at school.

Oh, and if you're local, the Farmer's Market Bike Valet will be coming back early (due to popular demand) on Saturday, May 5th, so ride your bike and we'll all be happy to park your ride for you while you do your shopping.

Bike Updates (or, my laziness has set in, so I'm combining posts into a quick update)

I don't know what has happened to my blogging schedule. Somehow, I've found myself in near melt-down mode over the last several weeks, and have been avoiding any "unnecessary" activities, which apparently includes writing here. Oddly, I have little to say these days, so I thought perhaps a simple update on the bicycle happenings would be an appropriate catch up for today.

First, like many areas across the States, it's been fairly mild weather-wise. It does make it a lot easier to get out and ride because it generally means simply adding an extra layer (or two) depending on the temperature. We have had a few dumpings, but fortunately, they have (mostly) melted quickly. I am quite certain we are in for a good snow bath sometime in the next 1-2 months, but that remains to be seen. Temperatures, however, have been on the warm side, staying fairly consistently in the 25-40 degree Fahrenheit temperature range.

The Bella Ciao is in the process of being sold to a lovely woman in Chicago who is excited about getting the bike. If all goes well, she should be riding it around very soon. I am happy that it's going to someone who will enjoy it, and that it will get regular use... and if it doesn't go to her, I remain positive that the right individual will come along.

Although it went largely unreported here, I actually purchased a Soma Buena Vista mixte frame some time ago and have been attempting to get that built up; however, it's yet another project that has gone by the way side with too many non-bike projects taking place these days. So, it will be sold to avoid the gathering of "extra" stuff around the house. It was just one of those projects that started strong and then, unfortunately, fizzled out. I am trying my best to avoid these "deals" that seem to come my way. It seems I am quite incapable of saying no to a project when the price is right. I'm working on it, but I believe it is some sort of personality flaw that needs some repair.  Secretly (or not so - as I've just typed it out here), I have hopes of another project bike, but I think I need to wait and make sure it's the right one, and that there is the time/funds to devote to it.

So, the bicycle herd is dwindling once again, and not too many changes have taken place with the remaining rides. One fun change was the handlebar tape on the Hillborne. I felt that it was looking to masculine, and needed a bit of a feminine splash of some sort, so a couple of months ago I decided to switch out to a raspberry colored bar tape. I have to admit, it's a bit of a different look, but it's growing on me. What do you think?

Other than these few changes, life continues on. Hopefully, your winter rides are going smoothly. Before we know it, spring and warmer weather will be here. Happy riding!

That Which Can Go Wrong...

I am just posting a venting session because today has just been frustrating. Please feel free to skip reading.

I woke up incredibly late this morning and missed out on class #1 because I just couldn't get to sleep last night, so I figured I'd take it as an opportunity to catch up on some other items and then leave in time for class #2. Why does waking up late put such a bad spin on the day? We have no food in the house because I haven't had time to go to the store, so breakfast consisted of a cutie orange that is long past its prime, and a bite of bagel (which was soon deemed only good enough for the pups who gladly took it from my hands.)

Anyway, I left plenty in advance, so as to not have to worry about being late. On the way to fill up the gas tank (something I had completely forgot I needed to do), a large metal chunk of God knows what comes flying at my car, fortunately low enough to avoid the windshield, but instead of it hitting the glass, I run over it because there wasn't enough time to avoid it. I hear some very loud, clanging-scraping sounds coming from beneath the car and I pray that I don't soon see fluids leaking (or an engine) coming out the rear of the car. The vehicle seems to have survived unscathed (though I haven't been brave enough to take a look underneath yet).

When I arrived to campus, there was absolutely no parking (ugh... why can't I ride a bike faster so I can just skip the car entirely on these days). I circled (literally) for 45 minutes hoping someone would pull out - anywhere. I missed class #2 because I couldn't find parking (a first for me). Yet another reason to despise being in a car, I suppose. (First world problems, I know - and I feel a bit ridiculous for complaining about no parking - but still adding to the frustration of the day.)

I figured I would use the time to check out REI (not far from campus) and pick up some painting supplies that I can't get at home. While walking into the art supply store I was stopped by what I presume was a homeless individual who wanted to know if I had "spare change." I politely responded that I did not, but what I really wanted to say was, "Spare change?! SPARE CHANGE? No, I don't have spare change! I'm tens of thousands of dollars in debt for an education that I can't even attend because there's no parking and people who live close enough to walk, don't take advantage of that opportunity!"

The day is just a little more than half over and I fear what is coming for me. I'm actually just sitting in the car, hoping that nothing else goes wrong before class #3. The sign above is posted where I sit. Will they really call for a tow for a person sitting in a vehicle? I don't really want to find out. While I realize the day hasn't been that bad, I'm such a wreck from lack of sleep and the few happenings, I'm not sure how much I can handle. Not to mention the thuggish, teenage boys that are about 20 feet away from me, pounding on the door of a business and screaming. Hmm... maybe time to move to a better location.

Crazy Days are Here Again

I'm feeling crazed and a bit chaotic these days. As the end of this semester draws to a close in the next few weeks, the true frantic nature of  "the end" seems to set in. These days, I am consumed by painting (both for school and in an attempt to get our basement to a finished state for would-be visitors during the holiday season), research papers that I have put off due to the above, and of course, like everyone else, attempting to maintain the rest of life.

More pigeons in progress - some day, this project will be done

All of this is not to complain, but rather to say that the next few weeks will likely be a bit sporadic with posting. Here are some brief updates as far as life and bicycles go:

- Sam's much loved Bianchi has made it back to the house after a roughly 3 week vacation during which the frame received desperately needed surface rust removal and a paint job. It looks beautiful and I can't wait to take some photos to share.

- I am still attempting to figure out the Bella Ciao Superba. Being stuck indoors for most of the last week hasn't helped with these efforts, but I have hopes that this will change in the upcoming weeks. Sharing more thoughts is certainly on the way. There is also another temporarily acquired bicycle in the house, which I hope to use for comparison purposes with the Bella Ciao Superba (though it rides nothing like the Bella Ciao).

- We have one of the two rooms in the basement "finished," meaning that flooring and paint is complete, but it still needs furniture. The second room will be de-ickified/scary-ified this weekend (see here for an image of what it felt like prior), so progress is being made.

- My 3/4 critique with the mass-o-pigeons went well. I think people are amused by them, especially in mass (it's difficult to ignore a room with several dozen painted pigeons). I also think people will now refer to me as the "crazy pigeon lady," but I'm okay with it. The painting coordinator seems on board with my idea to invade the space of the gallery in the spring (though my instructor is not), but only time will tell if the curator and other artists will be down with the whole plan.

So, there you have it, updates from life here in these parts. The weeks are flying by, and here we are again with a wish for a very happy Friday. Get out there and ride, especially if you're here in Colorado where we're expecting near 60 degree Fahrenheit temps today (now if only the wind would subside). Happy Friday and quickly approaching weekend. Enjoy it, wherever life takes you.

Gone to the Birds

"Your reflective, open-ended approach to life produces far more questions than answers."

Pigeons in progress... and this process is never ending, I swear. It's also how I spend most of my time these days.

In case you're wondering, no, the above statement is not a fortune cookie or a psychics' prediction. This is the last line of a short synopsis I recently read about myself, or more accurately, my personality type. I really couldn't help but identify with the statement, particularly in recent weeks (though it's always true). Truly, I seem to have gone into introspection mode, and I find that often means I don't write as much (oddly). I spend a lot of time thinking, pondering, wondering, reading... all of which (generally speaking) leads to nothing good or, perhaps more importantly, nothing productive.

One of my favorite pigeons in progress... s/he has the most interesting/inquisitive look on his/her face

No profound or eureka moments seem to come from these times of thinking, but I believe it's important for me to go through them. They are the times that allow me to regroup and understand my place in the world, where I want to be, where I'm headed, and the like. What does this have to do with bicycles, or even art? Nothing, and everything.

I am a thinker, and always have been. Even when it seems as though there's nothing going on, the hamster wheel is always turning. I think more than I should, and spend far too much time concerned with what others think of me, what I've said (or not said), or reacting to situations that really don't affect me on any sort of personal or professional level. I easily lose myself in thoughts that lead to other thoughts, which lead to completely unrelated topics, and I can quite easily lose an entire day in the bat of an eye. Literally.

It starts out rather innocently. For example, let's say I'm just reading in the morning to see what other bloggers have posted (have to keep up on these things, you know). I read something that sparks my interest, let's say for illustration purposes here, it's about a bicycle I've never heard of prior to that post. So, I start looking into said bicycle, and it turns out this bicycle is manufactured in (again for illustrative purposes only) Ethiopia. Reading the word "Ethiopia" reminds me of my Art of Africa course, which reminds me that I have a mid term approaching in the next few days and that I should likely be studying instead of reading blogs and researching bicycles. Thinking about classes reminds me that I'm unsure of what I'm going to do when I'm out of school in the next several months, so I start researching career possibilities for my "type" of personality. What do others do who are like me? Are they happy in their career? Should I be getting a teaching credential? Am I the "teacher" type? Will that exhaust me and leave me feeling unfulfilled. I've worked at schools/colleges in the past, so I know the drill. Can I stand up to the "powers" and be the best teacher possible? Reading about burnt out teachers leads me to think I should be in business for myself, but what kind of business? Where would that money come from? What happens when it fails and I have student loans, and on top of it a business loan to repay? New businesses generally require at minimum a couple of years to even turn a profit. Maybe I need to go to grad school? I always wanted to study law, or history, or psychology, or geology and geography. Which reminds me of the earth, which reminds me of bicycles. Maybe I should make bicycle accessories? Maybe I should finally start that wool line for all sizes that I keep looking for to no avail?  And so it goes. My mind wanders, and time flies by leaving me with even more to accomplish and no time to get it all done. While I am aware I need these days, I'm still upset when I know that an entire day has gone by and little to nothing has been accomplished.

Why am I sharing this? I can't really say, other than I'm trying to figure some things out, and posts seem to slow during these times. I'll be out of my funk introspection period soon enough, but until then, please bear with me and know that bicycles are always on my mind (and staring at me from across the room, calling to me to come and ride). Hope you're out enjoying this gorgeous season on your own two wheels!

Last Day of Freedom

It sounds so ominous and final, but my "last day of freedom" simply means that school resumes again for me tomorrow. My days will be long (10-14 hours of class time), and I am aware that it will no doubt have an affect on how much I will be able to spend writing, taking photos, and the like here. On the up side of things, it may be my next to last semester of classes, which is quite exciting. I am also well aware that I already have a case of "senior-itis" forming. I don't want summer to come to an end, I have no desire to buckle down and focus on things that need my attention - particularly when we're still having 85-95 F degree days, and I have found myself already starting a mental countdown calendar to the end.

*Image source can be found here

Today, I have a list of chores to complete. Everything from getting cash at the bank to pay for parking this week (I can't ride, unfortunately, because it would take me 3.5 hours each way to bike there, plus I'd have no way to carry my quite large canvas supports, paints, etc), to getting all the laundry done, to making sure there are healthy, non-refrigerated foods I can take with me, since I'll have only 15 minute breaks in between classes and no place to store perishable foods.

I also have on my list to "take one last long bike ride." It seems silly, but I know that I won't be able to spend 2-3 hours just going on a long ride likely for several months. So, as I feel summer closing up on me, it seems appropriate to make a ride part of the to-do list. I will, of course, still go on rides, but the freedom to up and go at any point in the day has very nearly come to an end. Bike rides will be shorter and more purpose-filled, certainly. Though returning to a schedule has its down side(s), I am looking forward to resuming a more structured art routine (as I've definitely let that slip over these past few months), and getting back to creating something, or at least working on a project daily will no doubt be beneficial. I'm also intrigued to see where this last 8 months of classes will take me. I suppose that this is truly the beauty of the future - we just can't know today where the path is taking us. Wishing you a path always filled with goodness, and of course, fun bike rides.

Going to the Birds

All has gone quiet once again on my end. It must be the end of the semester! :o)  I'm almost through with finals, but between the move and preparing for the end, I just haven't found a lot of spare time to do the things I'd like to do (particularly, riding my bike). In lieu of a post about bicycles/bicycling/bicycling relevant topics, I thought I'd just do a quick post with a few of the paintings from my last project.

I came across a flock of pigeons several weeks ago, and as crazy as it sounds, for some reason, they caught my eye. They were actually quite gorgeous, and I decided that I'd paint a dozen pigeons for my final painting project. I'm only posting a few, and none of them are completely done, but, as stated, I feel like something is missing in life since I've found myself involved in so many other projects.  For some reason, I felt the need to name all the pigeons, so here we go (at least I'm only putting a few)...

This is Kevin. The pigeon.
Watercolor on unprimed canvas

This is Foghorn. Another pigeon.
Watercolor on unprimed canvas

This is Morticia. You guessed it... another pigeon.
Watercolor on unprimed canvas

It has been a fun experience to try watercolor on canvas rather than paper, and it's had mixed results. I wish I'd left the watercolor to do its thing a bit more and not fight with it quite so much, but overall, I think they are decent. Hopefully, it's a move in a direction for my thesis project; which, as much as I hate to admit it, is creeping up on me.

Happy Monday!

Time... is Not On My Side

The posts seem to be slowing for me in recent weeks and days. It's not for lack of desire, but rather due to time being occupied elsewhere. Tests, papers, paintings, packing, cleaning, preparing for moving, preparations for a garage sale... they've all taken the place of any spare moments. I will be glad when this semester comes to an end, the move is over, and I can return to some normalcy in life.

The Labrador seems to be expressing my sentiments pretty well during this time... tired. I hope all is going well for others, and I look forward to getting back to a more regular schedule very soon!

Early Summer Bicycle Plans

So, my spring break officially comes to an end today... so very sad. It wasn't much of a "break" really, as the most I was able to accomplish was all education-related. I sometimes wonder why the school bothers to give us a week off if they're just going to assign us so many things to do that we just work the whole week, but I suppose it's a nice week off for the professors, if nothing else. With every day that passed, I'd look out in the garage at the bicycles, wishing I had enough time to go for a nice long ride, but I just never had enough solid chunks of time to go out and ride. With that in mind, I started day dreaming about being able to ride this summer.

*Image from osixandseven on Flicker

Because a ride is rarely quick from our current home, I started thinking about the summer months and what my bicycle plans will be because we'll be in such close proximity to many things that are fun bicycle destinations. I've already mapped out several spots I plan to visit via bicycle after the move, and after school lets out in early May, I will have some free time to roam about the city.

I'm hoping that the plan will actually help to get me through the final stretch of class. I'm looking forward to visits to parks, lakes, and actually just running errands via bike! I'm also realizing that this will be my last free summer. I've enjoyed very much being a kid again and having summer months for frolicking and doing what I please. I will miss it when I have to be a grown up again and get a real job once more. {sigh} Stupid real jobs. If only I could live in fantasy land forever. A girl can dream, right?

Another Art Show - Pablo Neruda

Another art show has come to fruition... This one is a Pablo Neruda Festival for which my painting class has been asked to create works that reference some of Neruda's poetry. If you're in the Denver area and are bored Friday evening, or just want to check out something different, you should definitely take a look!

While I'm not thrilled with my painting, it looks like there will be some very interesting things to see... so, come check it out! The show opens Friday, April 1, and will run until April 29.

Zzzzzz Zzzzzzz

I'm exhausted. I know I have no right to complain when there are others with schedules far fuller than my own, but I am just not sleeping - or at least not sleeping well.  Last night I drifted off around 11p, which was perfect, except that at a little after 3a, the lovely Labrador decided that licking was of utmost importance, and I suddenly woke out of my slumber and couldn't get back to sleep until about 5a. I half slept until a little before 7a, but then felt groggy because I neither completely slept, nor was I completely awake. I have visions of falling asleep in strange places in the middle of the day because I just can't seem to keep it together.

A friend, fake-sleeping in a work bathroom
We used a bunch of these images a few years ago for a prank on a Director who had gone out of town and feared we weren't actually working while he was away.

Among mid-terms, paintings that are due for an upcoming show (and haven't even been started), house hunting stuff (like finding houses, getting worked up about them, and then not having our offer accepted, or finding extreme problems in the house), bike stuff that needs to get done, dogs that need exercise, and just the regular every day stuff that happens in everyone's life, I can't seem to keep my mind quiet. At night, the wheels keep turning with everything I need to do, and I generally just don't fall asleep. If I do, it's a half sleep and I wake exhausted and start again, and every night is full of anxiety-ridden dreams.

I know this is a familiar feeling for many, and others have to add in children, a job, and many other things, so I have no business whining about my lack of sleep, but I feel like I'm going to lose it if I don't get a good nights' rest soon. I keep thinking that at some point, I will become so tired, I will simply fall asleep, but it doesn't seem to happen as I think it will.

For now, I continue on, and remain hopeful that The Sandman is on his way to me - and soon.

Art Exhibition

If anyone in the Denver area will be around this Friday, I hope you'll take a bit of time to come out to First Friday and take a peek at some of the artwork by myself and fellow classmates at Tennyson Tap at 38th and Tennyson. The theme is "landscapes" and there are some very interesting pieces... everything from the quite abstract to very literal, so a bit for everyone's tastes.  Plus, all the galleries on Tennyson will be open for the normal First Friday routine. Fun should be had by all!  If you can't make it out for First Friday, the show will be up until mid-April, so there will be plenty of time to come by and take a look (Plus, there's the added bonus of being able to get a beer on-site).

Fred, and Back to School

Forgive me this indulgence, but I'm still obsessing about Fred. Today, I took a few pictures of him to attempt to better capture his fabulousness. I haven't yet decorated the basket (which I intend to do), and the tires are already quite filthy, but I still think he's beautiful!

Detail shot of lotus flowers and design

Detail in Om saddle

White tires - dirty, of course

Chainguard detail

Front half of Fred

Wald basket and Om bell

Snow is headed our way for tomorrow, but we'll go for a ride very soon, my Fred!

Tomorrow is the first day of the spring semester of classes. It will be a long day (12 hours of class related nonsense), but it will likely do me well to be back into a routine. Though I immensely dislike routine and any sort of schedule, I think I am in need of it for a bit. Today, I also received an offer to hang some of my art in a Denver show next month, so things are already moving right along.

The Staring Contest

I'm feeling trapped in the house right at the moment. I'm finally done with classes (as of this past Friday - woo hoo!), and thought I would be free to wander about, but today I'm expecting a package from UPS and it, unfortunately, requires an in-person signature. Since I have no idea what time the UPS delivery driver will arrive, the dogs and I are playing the staring game with each other. I think they are winning.

Levi, AKA "Monkey Love" is winning the staring contest

Fortunately, for the house, this means that I am trapped here, and therefore must clean up the little messes I've made in various spots around the house. Canvas supports sitting in the kitchen, Christmas wrapping paper and boxes on the counters, packages to be sent sitting on dining room chairs. Perhaps it's a good thing that I'm stuck inside? I really must learn to clean up my piles a bit more regularly.

Hope all are off to a great start this week!

Ninety-Three Percent

When I went back to school a couple of years ago, I discovered, or rather was informed (by a rather grouchy counselor I might add) that I was missing an Arts/Letters class for my general ed requirements. I decided to put it off because I was a little annoyed that I was being forced to return to those general classes I had thought were completed.  After getting over it and realizing that I will never finish unless I take the darn class, I ended up taking a music theory class this semester to make up for this deficiency, as an art class doesn't count for me (because I'm a fine arts major). Today I received an email from my instructor informing me that I have done far better than the "C" I had anticipated at the start of the semester.

Though it's a bit difficult to read here, it states that since I took both portions of my final exam early (I thought this was best as I have a very large painting to finish before Friday that has just barely begun, and a presentation to prepare for Wednesday), the professor was able to let me know my grade early.  I received a class grade of  "A" with a 93 percent. I'm excited because 1) I don't anticipate doing as well in my other classes this term, so this will help to counter balance; 2) I fully expected to just pass the class because I really didn't put forth the effort I normally would in a course; and, 3) Let's face it, anything involving "theory" tends to be a drag.

All I can say is "YAY!" Now the countdown really has begun. Soon, I'll be back to my normal bicycle chatter, but for now, I'm just basking in the glory of being done with one class... and soon, the rest will follow.

Psst... by the way, it's been incredibly gorgeous here in Colorado! We haven't really even had any snow stick yet, and tomorrow, it's supposed to be close to 60 degrees Fahrenheit. It's as though Christmas came early this year.

Mr. Stench

This last week of classes (well, almost last week, as next week will be finals) has me racing about attempting to finish all the work I've procrastinated in completing. Why is it that even when it's something I enjoy, I still put off getting it done? Can't quite figure that out. At the moment, I'm working on my last (thank God) watercolor painting. I'm about 3/4 of the way through it, it's due tomorrow (Wednesday) evening, and I'm realizing that watercolor is perhaps not my media. Okay, there's no "perhaps" about it. It's just not my friend. Maybe I need more time with the medium, or I just haven't found a method that works for me, but I'm glad this is wrapping up in the near future.

Since everyone seems to take every project entirely too seriously, I have opted to do a portrait of Johnny Depp (aka Mr. Stench). I've had a few looks while working on this in class that seem to say, "Seriously? This is what you're working on?" But I really don't care. It amuses me because my classmates (for the most part) seem to think that everything must be entirely serious art work with an obviously deep message. The message here? I'm sick of thinking, I don't want anything deep and meaningful at the moment, and J.D. is just awesome.

The strange light orange spots are actually masking fluid to keep the whites clean, so they'll be coming off toward the end of this little project. I'm nearing the end... and I feel a countdown ticking in my head!

Half Way (again)

Once again, I have reached the half way point of the semester. There are times when it seems as though this is all taking forever, but other days when it seems to fly by quicker than I can even keep track. Two years ago I was half way through my first semester back to college, and I was incredibly frustrated thinking that I would never get through. I suppose not much has changed in that regard, but at least I feel a bit more confident - not much, but a little. I am grateful for the opportunity to be there, but there are times when I wish it was all over and done. I question what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, but I have to believe it has a purpose. Definitely glad it's Friday though... it's been a long, LONG week!

Abstraction: Not for Me?

I'm feeling like such a failure today. I have had several weeks to work on an abstract painting for my watermedia class, and I have ultimately come up with nothing. Well, I have something, but it looks like something a small child sat down and completed in about five minutes. Despite the fact that I spent several hours working on it, and attempting to come up with something that made sense, at least compositionally, I just want to hang my head in shame, go in a corner and rock, and never touch a paint brush again. I don't know why abstraction is so difficult for me. It goes beyond difficult into a point where I just swirl into an extremely downward spiral, and have no desire to do anything anymore, even the projects that I was enjoying.

Jackson Pollock abstraction
*Photo from arthistoryspot.com

When I think back over the course of my nearly two and half years at this college, every abstract assignment has produced the same exact emotion. In the early days of drawing and painting, I was so concerned that I wouldn't be able to make something look even semi-realistic, that I never even stopped to think that I couldn't do abstract. I always assumed it would be something natural to me; an innate gift, if you will. After all, I always thought, 'how hard can abstraction be?' Instead, I get so angry with myself for being unable to paint/draw anything that is even remotely acceptable, and I find myself just wanting to drop out of the class and not deal with the failure (I won't drop the class, but I start having these thoughts). I don't understand why I can appreciate it, see others' work and admire it, study it endlessly, and still be unable to put out anything that looks like I spent time on it.

Hans Burkhardt: Burial of Gorky
*Photo from artknowledgenews.com

I've been told that some artist's go through shifts in their lives, and that they may do abstraction for long stretches and then suddenly turn to realism for a spell, and then trying something else entirely. Maybe this is just not the time in my life for abstraction. It's unfortunate, as it seems there is at least one (if not more) in each class to contend with, and I wish I could at least make peace with the genre, so that it wouldn't be such a struggle to get through these assignments. Unfortunately for me, I'm dealing with two abstract projects at the moment, and I'm hoping I am able to keep all of my hair through this process.