Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Struggling Already?


I have been logging calories and exercise for about a month now (today is actually day 32, as I just calculated), and I have been somewhat consistently losing during that time. A little over two weeks ago, I decided that I had to get back to the gym. Just five years ago I had made a habit of being at the gym 5-6 days a week and in the last year to a year and a half, it all fell apart. What gives? I thought something was a habit if you had done it routinely for a year? 
I know very well what happened - boredom. While many people crave routine and hate change, I am not one of them and if I don't keep things interesting, I have no desire to exercise. I have kept up riding my bike, but I honestly don't count that as exercise, but rather just something I enjoy. A kickboxing class that had been presented to me over a year ago, re-presented itself and I couldn't say no. So, for the last couple of weeks I've been doing that instead of the gym. I am hopeful that it is going to provide motivation for me to get back to the gym, or at least to exercise. While the class is wonderful and tones, strengthens and provides cardiovascular work, I know that the in between days are still going to need something. I can't do that sort of intensity 6 days a week - nor do I want to because it will become dull.
I have realized that while I have a lot of weight to lose and I generally lose it pretty slowly, I am okay with it. Honestly, it hasn't been very slow to this point, and I have absolutely nothing to complain about, so I want to just keep eating so I'm not starving (which I haven't been starving, so no need to start), develop a solid exercise habit (even if it changes now and again to new exercises), and feel better. Yes, I want to lose weight, and yes I want to be healthy - but I have been both overweight and healthy, so the health is far more important to me than the actual pounds. 
As I have told myself in the past, this is not a "diet" in the traditional sense, but a change of habits. I have to eat at least 3 times a day, and I don't know why that seems to be so difficult for me. I suppose when one has developed habits of eating once a day, it just needs to be rearranged. I've done well for the last month eating 3-4 times a day, so I believe it is possible, even with an insanely busy schedule, to make it happen. I have lost about 18 pounds to date - pretty incredible.
I look forward to the changes ahead and seeing my body morph into what I know it can be. 

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