I'm exhausted. I know I have no right to complain when there are others with schedules far fuller than my own, but I am just not sleeping - or at least not sleeping well. Last night I drifted off around 11p, which was perfect, except that at a little after 3a, the lovely Labrador decided that licking was of utmost importance, and I suddenly woke out of my slumber and couldn't get back to sleep until about 5a. I half slept until a little before 7a, but then felt groggy because I neither completely slept, nor was I completely awake. I have visions of falling asleep in strange places in the middle of the day because I just can't seem to keep it together.
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A friend, fake-sleeping in a work bathroom
We used a bunch of these images a few years ago for a prank on a Director who had gone out of town and feared we weren't actually working while he was away. |
Among mid-terms, paintings that are due for an upcoming show (and haven't even been started), house hunting stuff (like finding houses, getting worked up about them, and then not having our offer accepted, or finding extreme problems in the house), bike stuff that needs to get done, dogs that need exercise, and just the regular every day stuff that happens in everyone's life, I can't seem to keep my mind quiet. At night, the wheels keep turning with everything I need to do, and I generally just don't fall asleep. If I do, it's a half sleep and I wake exhausted and start again, and every night is full of anxiety-ridden dreams.
I know this is a familiar feeling for many, and others have to add in children, a job, and many other things, so I have no business whining about my lack of sleep, but I feel like I'm going to lose it if I don't get a good nights' rest soon. I keep thinking that at some point, I will become so tired, I will simply fall asleep, but it doesn't seem to happen as I think it will.
For now, I continue on, and remain hopeful that The Sandman is on his way to me - and soon.
I know exactly how you feel!! I don't think we got more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep any night for about the last 4-6 months of our dog's life. Not that I would have traded having her around for anything, but there were times when I wondered if I could keep going! She had gotten to the point where she was restless, so would sometimes get up multiple times during the night just to walk into the bathroom and back. And she would also wake us up licking, so I can understand that as well :) What little we did sleep wasn't very good from a quality standpoint, and was often as you described with dreams or nightmares. I hope you manage to get some much needed rest soon!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Traci. I was able to catch up a bit over the weekend, so that was helpful. I'm still thinking about you and your loss of Greta. I know how hard it can be... I still think about our dog that died almost 6 years ago now. I like to think she's still with us in spirit though... crazy as that sounds.
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