The More Things Change...

There are theorists who argue that as humans we are incapable of change. The ways we have behaved in the past will continue to be a part of us as we move forward, and even if we make seemingly small changes as we go through life we will maintain the core of who we are. On the flip side, there are others who believe that part of being human means that we are in fact capable of modifying behaviors and past tendencies, and that a good chunk of our journey on this earth is discovering those areas in life that require development and acting upon them. I don't know where any of you fall on this spectrum of belief, but I've always believed that refinement of bad habits is definitely a possibility for any human who truly desires it and is willing to work toward it. As I grow older, I'm starting to doubt that belief. Why? Here is my theory.

*Image found here

I have stated before that I am a person who embraces change. In fact, I loathe routine and monotony, but thrive in places and times when new challenges are presented (which explains much of my  job hopping throughout my youth and through my 20's, no doubt). I like the thrill of not knowing what is going to happen, or even if I'm capable of doing what is presented to me. I'm not necessarily a thrill-seeker or extreme-sport sort of person, but in everyday life, I would prefer not to have the drudgery of the same tasks. However, the harder I try to change things about myself, the more I find that I remain the same. I almost feel as though I'm on some endless loop or repeating a record that cannot be shut off. As much as I like change, the changing itself has become a cyclical event. I don't choose to do the same thing, so I modify what I'm doing, and that change itself becomes the repetitive cycle. So, in fact, I am not changing at all. It appears on the surface that I am a divergent, mental case who constantly requires "newness," but the reality is that I am merely repeating a cycle for myself.

The most recent months of my existence have caused me to believe that most humans will remain the same over time. People often date expecting that a particular behavior we aren't fond of can be changed in the other person, but how often does that really work? We go on diets expecting that we can maintain weight loss for life, but the numbers show that most people who try will fail miserably both at losing over the long term and in maintenance. Personal bad habits, working out, anger issues, spending too much money and a slew of various vices - most of us will struggle with at least one of these over the course of life. We either need to do them more or need to partake less, but either way we struggle to make permanent change.

As the new year approaches and promises to ourselves are made, will we actually be able to follow through with our resolutions? Will 2013 be the year of permanent change, or just more failed attempts? I don't make new year resolutions for the very reason that I believe it's not the best time of year to make huge changes in life. In fact, I have found that the biggest changes tend to happen in the autumn months for me. Of course, what is flowing through my mind at the moment?  The thought that perhaps this should be the year I make resolutions in January. Perhaps things will be different if I modify the time of year for metamorphose. Thus, repeating my own cycle of persistent sameness.

They look similar, but they ARE different.
*Image found here

I have goals for 2013, and I will likely shake things up a bit (even though it is my own type of routine) to see what I can accomplish. Although I believe I have simply created my own ever-altering conventions, I have things to do, places to go, and things to achieve. Whether I am capable of actually accomplishing the change I wish to be remains to be seen, but I am not going down without a fight. I do still believe that the human spirit is resilient and able to take on so much more than most of us believe we are capable of achieving. So, to the coming year I say, bring it on. The universe may be more powerful than a single inhabitant on this earth, but I am pretty damn stubborn and ready to do what needs to be done.

A very happy New Year to all. May it bring you all that you deserve and have earned. Keep striving to be the best person you can be! Happy New Year!