June 1 - Checking in

This is the second "check in" for my self-motivated adventure to try to improve myself over five months. If you missed the post about setting goals and what I thought might turn into a contest, I'm basically trying to accomplish something for the first of each month until September 1. The problem has been that I am finding I need to re-evaluate the goals every time I check in because things change or I've already accomplished what I set out to do (I know, poor me... accomplishing my goals quicker than I thought).

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My goal for June 1 originally was to lose 10 lbs. Oddly, I did that pretty quickly (even before the May 1 check in), and instead, have struggled for the last six weeks with the same 3 lbs. I cannot even begin to express how annoying it is to be working out constantly (okay not constantly, but a good chunk of each day), eating properly, and not losing weight over that stretch of time. I have read about calorie consumption and working out, what truly is the right amount of caloric intake for me, BMR, RMR, BMI, waist to hip ratios, protein rich diets, vegetarian diets - pretty much you name it and I've become fairly well versed on the topic. Everyone seems to have an opinion - "Eat fewer calories, or you won't lose," or "Eat more calories. Your body is starving," or "Do more muscle training."

Speaking as someone who struggled with an undiagnosed eating disorder when I was young, I desperately don't want to eat too few calories. It becomes addictive and game like to try to see how few calories one can eat and still survive. I have done so in the course of my life a few times and I will lose (my body has no choice at some point to give in), but it reaches a point that I am no longer capable of functioning, and I stop seeing the drops.  Although I have never been thin, the disorder itself has nothing to do with that - it's more of an opportunity to have power over something. It's all very unhealthy, and while I would prefer not to carry extra pounds around, I would much rather be strong and lively, than thin and sick.

Currently, I am trying a kind of opposite method to see if it will work. I am actually going to eat more (as insane as it sounds) to try to lose. In some ways, it actually seems more logical to me. If we think of the body as an engine trying to power on, it needs fuel to keep running. If we keep feeding it, it works better and more efficiently - or so the theory goes. Since I have been working out quite a bit, and some fairly intense workouts (including kickboxing), I think I need to be eating more like an athlete... or so this round of my personal challenge will explore. I have added a minimum of 300 calories a day to my food intake, in the hopes that it will actually force my body to work in my favor. Time will tell if this is what is needed, and in the mean time, I'm just hoping it doesn't cause a drastic weight gain.

My July 1 goal was to have my jeans falling off of me so that I could buy new ones. I'm going to keep that as the goal, but honestly, I'm not sure it will be doable in one month. I won't discount it, but I also don't want to be disappointed if I cannot quite get there. I'm going to add on to the challenge attendance to my kickboxing class at least 6 times a week for the next month. I've been doing some 2-a-day's of that class and it's truly a butt-kicking experience, so I'd like to see what I can get in over a relatively short amount of time.

Anyone else who's journeying on their own path of goals, please feel free to add your accomplishments or  possible set backs. Hopefully, June is going to be a beautiful month, and I'm looking forward to it immensely.