First Check In

It's already time for the May 1st check in, and while I realize not many are participating in our self-motivated contest, I wanted to keep myself honest, so I'm still "checking in" regardless of the numbers of individuals involved. My personal goal for the first of May was to be able to get through my kickboxing class without having to stop for air. I'm not entirely sure this was a fair goal to set for myself for a variety of reasons. 1) The class varies from day to day in intensity and level of use of particular areas of the body. Because of this, there are days that I get through just fine, and other days that I struggle much more. Since I carry more weight in my lower half, obviously the days of lower body work are more intense physically for me. 2) How does a person really judge if s/he is improving cardiovascular-wise based on how hard s/he is breathing in the class? Based on info provided in my first reason, I don't know that I can say I haven't improved, but I definitely find myself still breathing quite hard during long rounds.  3) I believe my personal intensity has increased over the last month in this class, which makes me think that while it seems as though I'm not improving, I actually am, but don't see it breathing-wise because I push harder while working out.

Perhaps I'm merely fooling myself with the breathing aspect of this class, but I do know that there have been other improvements. For example, these strange, solid bulges appear to be forming in places that never have before (some may call them muscles). I am also doing push ups. Push ups. This is so ridiculously insane to me because never in my life have I been able to do standard push ups. Yes, I still struggle doing them, and they're not perfect, but since we're not permitted to do "girl" push ups in class, and we do them during every class, it has forced me to adapt. I'm also pondering new activities. I've always wanted to participate in roller derby, but I fear it because I can't skate (mostly because I'm so klutzy and have no balance) and have a complete fear of falling (as has been documented here in the past). But, I think I may set it as some kind of future goal - to at least give it a try because I know they will train people who have no experience with skating at all (unfortunately, I do have experiences - they are just all very bad experiences). Oddly, I've also already surpassed my June 1st goal, so I'm not sure what to set as the next goal. Actually, I've almost met my ultimate September 1st goal, too. So, I may have to revise these goals completely (not that it's such a horrible thing to have happening).

Overall, I feel good. I believe I'm moving in a positive direction, although I am cautiously optimistic about where it is exactly that I'm going. I know myself and know that I can get obsessive about things (exercise, weight loss, eating perfectly, etc), and I can quickly take a nose dive when things don't seem to be going well.  I am trying to find positive things to focus on, such as feeling muscles growing, or clothes fitting better, rather than actual pounds lost because I know this is dangerous water for me to be treading.

How are you doing with your goals? The next check in point will be June 1st, so if anyone wants to start now, or just wants to participate for a month rather than the full 5 months, feel free to check in as it works for you.  Happy May Day! Hopefully your weather is beautiful and gets you out on your bike.