Thursday, June 30, 2016

Change Is Difficult... Even for People Who Like Transitions

To those who know me well, they are aware that I am a person who thrives with variation and change. I don't do well with the same old routine day after day, nor in traveling the same routes or even following an obstacle-free path that has been perfectly laid out in front of me. I tried for years to modify this quality, believing that something is wrong with me because I need to see new things, make my own path, and experience new adventures more frequently than the average person, but I think my last half decade of life (or so) has taught me that I need to stop fighting who I am - which is a struggle some days all its own.

There are always times when we need to, perhaps, reel ourselves in and understand when we're making poor decisions or choosing dangerous actions, but if no one is getting hurt, there's no reason to think that craving variety is a "bad" thing.
*Image found here
But, very few people live in a world of constant change. Habits develop. Routines are found. Whether enjoyable or not, realities of life take over and these responsibilities can't help but form a certain level of repetition. Ruts are developed, slowly with repeated movements and the thought of how one arrives in such a place comes into question. The thing with ruts is that if they go untouched they just get deeper and deeper until a giant, sometimes inescapable hole is formed.

A lot of change has happened for me personally over the last two years. Injuries compounded with other injuries, attempted and failed business, loss of family, the realization that my body may never do many of the things it once did, allowing myself to walk away from passions in life... just to name a few... they have all brought a reality check.

Some of the changes that took place I had complete awareness of as they were happening, while others kind of seeped in gradually laying the ground work to become unwanted attachments. When this happens so gently over time there's sometimes little consciousness about what is taking place. Life moves forward until one day I just felt heavy. Literally and figuratively.

Even though I am an emotional person, I am not weak. My passion about various topics or injustices comes from that emotion. Yes, it makes me sob uncontrollably at the Clydesdale and Puppy commercials, but that same emotion has the power to bring change, if put to use in a directed, purposeful fashion. The problem, at times, is recognizing that the passion is lost or has been guided down the wrong path.

This year, I have begun to recognize the potholes in the road and rather than just letting them sit unattended, I have made plans and directed action to help fill in those ruts, or in some cases, started building new roads to take me around the insurmountable obstacles. After all, some things aren't worth hitting head-on when it's easier to take a slight detour.

I have a lot of repairs to make right now and a lot of new roads to build. I'm ready to take on the challenge, even though I know I may not be able to take the most traditional paths along the way. I also realize that some things are more difficult than others to repair, rebuild, or even re-route, but things that come easy are rarely worthwhile.

To this end, I am still figuring out the blog. My suspicion is that it will remain in tact and moving forward, but I've found myself trying out some different adventures, so perhaps there will be some detouring into outdoor-related, but not exactly cycling-specific topics. We will see where the future takes this space. As always, thank you for continuing to read. I look forward to continuing to share and hearing your thoughts and feedback as well.

4 comments:

  1. This is an exciting change. I like the idea of hearing more about other kinds of outdoor adventures. Adding other kinds of reflection into the mix could be really refreshing. Can't wait to see where you take us next.

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    1. I think so too. I'm sure I'll still be highly focused on bicycles (I can't help myself), but I'm thinking there may be the occasional other-outdoor-type-post. Should be interesting to see where things go. :)

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  2. Change is imminent. Chin up and keep moving forward. I love your writing style and will hang in there and route for you. :)

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    1. Thanks, Annie! Went on a fun hike today and wishing now I'd taken some photos because it was so darn gorgeous! Next time though. :)

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