Unlikely Goals

The last several months have had me deep in thought. I've been pondering many different aspects of life, but there's one thing that keeps poking at me, no matter how hard I try to ignore it. Sometimes it's difficult for me to share future hopes for physical-related goals because deep down I often think that I am incapable of achieving whatever ridiculousness it is that gets stuck in my head. I am not an athlete and I never have been, so to attempt some of the more challenging goals seems often a bit far-fetched. However, last year I wrote about my desire to complete my first century ride and I did finish, so I think actually writing about the goal helped me visualize getting to the end point. In particular, knowing that I had stated I would finish it before the end of summer made me set goals along the way. Here I am again, not really feeling capable, but knowing that there is a goal I want to achieve before summers' end this year.

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In summary, I want to complete a half Ironman triathlon. That would be a total of 70.3 miles, divided up as a 56 mile bike ride, a 13.1 mile run, and a 1.2 mile swim. I have no question that individually, assuming that I had properly trained, I could do any of these things but combined into one? Well, I am more than concerned about completing such an endeavor. For starters, running outside tears me up. If I run more than about 3 miles outdoors, my knees are shot, my back cripples me (both of these are due to previous injuries that have ongoing ramifications), and I am not sure that it would be the wisest decision to put my body through this sort of test, particularly knowing that I would likely be unable to function for several days or more. So, I had an idea. I didn't do my first century as an organized ride, so why would I feel compelled to sign up for an official half Ironman? My thought was to swim at a local pool for the 1.2 miles, ride my bike the 56 miles, and run on a treadmill for the 13.1 miles to complete my own version. Sort of an "E.V.L. unofficial half ironman" type of deal. It feels a bit like cheating I must admit, but at the same time, I'm not looking to compete with other people and this is really only for myself, so why not try it in a way that won't completely destroy my body? Plus, I wouldn't have to worry about having someone throw me off the course if it takes longer than the allotted time.

In order to take on this challenge, however, I need to seek some medical attention for my back. I have put off (for many years) visiting a doctor for assistance, but in order to reach my goals, I know that I need to be at my best. When I found myself nearly crippled at the end of 2013, I realized that just resting a bit isn't doing what it used to do for me. I have to get help. I was in a kickboxing class over the last couple of weeks and I found myself unable to do even a single push-up without searing pain that brought me to tears. I don't want to continue to live with this sort of agony if there is a means to remedy (even partially) the problems. I have no reason not to visit a doctor (well, I do, but nothing that will physically harm me to keep me from going), and as much as I am fighting it, I know deep down that the only chance I have to not only complete an endeavor like the one I'm thinking about, but even to maintain my current workout schedule, is to find some type of assistance.

I have no idea what sort of journey I am in for at this moment. I could find out that there is nothing to be done and I will simply have to deal with the pain associated with the injuries. But, if there is a possibility of having even a small portion of the pain gone, I think I owe it to myself to at least give it a shot. I have big dreams and goals for 2014, and I would like an opportunity to even come close to accomplishing a piece of them.